In today’s fast-paced world, many of us are caught in the trap of endless productivity, measuring our worth by how much we achieve. I spent years in this cycle—working hard, striving for perfection, but never feeling enough. It wasn’t long before I burned out. The turning point for me came when I began to actively practice self-compassion. When no other option was available anymore. Shifting from self-criticism to self-kindness wasn’t easy, but it transformed my self-perception and changed the way I relate to the world.
I’d like to share 10 self-compassion practices that guided my journey, with the hope that they may resonate with you as well—though I acknowledge they may not work for everyone.
1. Acknowledge Your Experience
I used to dismiss uncomfortable emotions, pushing through stress and pain. It wasn’t until I began acknowledging my feelings—really taking a moment to ask myself, What am I feeling right now?—that things started to change. Instead of avoiding discomfort, I learned to stay with it. This simple act of recognising my emotions was the first step in offering myself compassion. It’s a way of saying, I see you, I hear you, to myself.
2. Use Kind Self-Talk
This practice has been a game-changer for me. Like many people, my inner dialogue was often harsh: “Why do you always mess up?” or “You’re not good enough.” Over time, I began to change this script. Now, when I make a mistake, I remind myself, I’m doing my best, and that’s enough – treating myself with the same kindness I would offer a friend.
3. Practice Mindful Breathing
Mindful breathing has become one of my go-to tools for stress. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I pause and take a few deep breaths, focusing entirely on the sensation of breathing. It brings me back to the present moment and reminds me that I deserve care and attention, especially during difficult times. This small, simple practice helps calm my mind and allows me to respond to stress with compassion instead of panic.
5. Accept Imperfection
For years, I was trapped in the pursuit of perfection. I thought being perfect would make me worthy of love. But all it did was drain me. Eventually, I realised that imperfection is a part of being human. Embracing my flaws, allowing myself to make mistakes, has been liberating. Now, when things don’t go as planned, I remind myself, It’s okay to be imperfect; I am still worthy.
6. Connect with Your Inner Child
One of the most powerful practices for me has been connecting with my inner child—the part of me that is still vulnerable, playful, and in need of love. When I feel overwhelmed, I pause and ask, What does my inner child need right now? Sometimes it’s rest, sometimes it’s joy, and other times it’s just a little bit of comfort..
7. Forgive Yourself
Self-forgiveness is an essential part of self-compassion, but it’s one of the hardest. I used to hold onto guilt and regret for things I did or didn’t do in the past. But I learned that clinging to that guilt only prolongs my suffering. Writing a letter of forgiveness to myself was a powerful experience. In it, I acknowledged my mistakes and offered myself the same understanding I would give a loved one. This act of letting go helped me move forward with more peace.
8. Tune into Your Body
I used to live in my head, ignoring the signals my body was sending. Over time, I’ve learned that my body often holds the emotional tension I’m not fully aware of. Now, I regularly check in with my body. When I notice tightness in my shoulders or tension in my jaw, I pause and breathe into those areas, offering them care and compassion. This practice of tuning into my body’s needs has become a powerful way of grounding myself in the present moment.
9. Set Compassionate Boundaries
For a long time, I struggled with setting boundaries. I felt guilty saying no and constantly overextended myself. But I’ve learned that self-compassion means honouring my own needs, even if that means disappointing others. Now, I set compassionate boundaries—whether that’s saying no to a social event or taking time for myself.
10. Create a Daily Ritual of Self-Compassion
Incorporating self-compassion into my daily routine has been transformative. Before bed, I spend a few minutes in mindfulness, reflecting on my day without judgment. These small, consistent acts remind me to prioritise kindness toward myself, even on difficult days.
Self-compassion hasn’t been an easy journey, but it has been a deeply rewarding one. By treating myself with the same kindness I offer to others, I send myself the message that I am worthy of love and care, just as I am. This practice takes time to grow, and every step is worth it..
What steps can you take today to begin treating yourself with more compassion and understanding?