The Power of a Name
Have you ever stopped to think about your name? Like, really think about it? Not just the times when someone mispronounces it at the coffee shop, or when it’s called out in full by an exasperated parent. But rather, how it makes you feel? Whether it fits, whether it has grown on you, or whether you sometimes wish you could swap it for something else entirely?
Our names are the first gifts we receive, chosen before we have words to express who we are. They carry history, family, and expectation. They introduce us before we can introduce ourselves. But as we grow, we might begin to wonder, does my name shape me, or do I shape my name?
For me, my name has always been a journey of reconciliation. My first name, Mariana, was given to me by my godmother’s daughter, yet I never felt deeply connected to it, truthfully, I never liked it. My second name, Madalina, was beloved by my family and became the foundation of my childhood identity. Even so, everyone called me Mada – a name that seemed to encapsulate only part of me. Mada was bold, daring, a thinker outside the box.
When I moved to England, I wanted to explore beyond Mada’s personality, to see who else I could become. I introduced myself as Mariana, and in this new space, I could allow myself to be more grounded, more reflective, a quiet observer. I wrestled with these two versions of myself until I realised I didn’t have to choose. I could be both Mariana and Madalina, or neither. My name was not a box but a door, one I could walk through in different ways at different times.
What’s in a Name? (More Than You Think)
Our names often say more about our parents – their dreams, traditions, and personal histories – than they do about us at birth. A name might honour a loved one, reflect cultural roots, or embody qualities our parents hope we will grow into. But as we carve our own paths, we may feel the need to reshape or reinterpret its meaning.
Some people make small adjustments, a nickname, a different pronunciation. Others go for a full rebrand, choosing an entirely new name that better reflects their sense of self. However we approach it, the process of embracing or redefining a name is deeply personal. It’s not just about what people call us; it’s about who we choose to be.
The Psychology of Names
Research suggests that names influence how we are perceived and even how we see ourselves. Some names carry authority, others feel delicate, some are timeless, and others unconventional. These associations shape expectations, subtly influencing confidence, opportunities, and even a sense of belonging.
When a name doesn’t feel like “us,” it can create tension, as if we’re living in a story that isn’t ours. On the other hand, when we fully embrace, modify, or redefine our name, we reclaim ownership of our identity. Studies, such as Jozef Nuttin’s work on the ‘name-letter effect,’ suggest we have an unconscious preference for letters in our own name, reflecting its deep tie to our self-perception. Other research points to how names can subtly shape life choices, influencing careers, relationships, and even where we choose to live.
Furthermore, the concept of the self-fulfilling prophecy plays an important role in how names shape identity. When we meet someone and learn their name, our subconscious mind immediately draws on prior associations and expectations linked to that name. These expectations subtly influence our interactions, leading the other person to adjust their behaviour, often without realising it, to align with those preconceived notions (Smith, 2020).
Names are not just labels; they are narratives, ones that evolve as we do.
Who Are You in Your Own Name?
Take a moment – when you hear your name, what do you feel? Warmth? Indifference? A sigh because it’s always misspelled? Maybe you have different versions of your name for different parts of your life, one for work, one for family, one for that side of you that only comes out after a couple of drinks (no judgment).
Your name is a bridge, linking different parts of your journey. It carries memories, identities you’ve inhabited at different stages. And just as you evolve, so does your relationship with it. The best part? You get to decide what it means to you. Whether you embrace it, tweak it, or completely reinvent it, your name should serve you, not the other way around.
Beyond the Name
At the end of the day, names shape us, but they do not define us. They are an entry point, not a destination. When we make peace with our names, whether by embracing, transforming, or transcending them, we grant ourselves the freedom to grow beyond expectation.
So, do we grow into our names, or do our names grow into us? Maybe it’s both. A name is more than a word; it’s a mirror, a canvas, a starting point. And beyond it lies the infinite possibility of who we can become.
So, dear reader – what does your name mean to you?
References:
Chatterjee, P., Rose, R. L., & Sinha, J. (2024). New psychology research reveals surprising link between your name and your life choices. PsyPost. Retrieved from (psypost.org)
Nuttin, J. M. (1985). Narcissism beyond Gestalt and awareness: The name letter effect. European Journal of Social Psychology, 15(3), 353–361.
Smith, A. (2020). The Power of Names: How Expectations Shape Identity. New York: Oxford University Press.